i don’t even know what’s real and what’s in my head anymore
I feel so apathetic towards everything in my life but at the same time I feel so fucking sad and lost in my own head I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore
Feeling empty is worse than being sad
You can weep sadness into your favourite pillow
Or shatter your mothers sacred vase to relieve your anger
But when you feel nothing
When you’re hollow and numb
You’re left slicing valleys into your skin,
hoping that perhaps it’s feelings flowing from the gashes.
You think it will take away the shaky hands and swollen throat,
fill the emptiness within you.
But its not
And it won’t
And you’re left in a pile of blood and tears on the bathroom floor,
wishing somebody had told you to pick yourself up and not shut down your feelings
what’s the point tho really, nothing good ever stays and nothing bad ever goes away